[The Brit's Blog]
My autobiography ( a work in progress)I feel..
2007-11-29
at 12:49 am i feel...
lonely
like i'm losing hope
Alone
almost inspired
somewhat unwanted
confused
like maybe just the touch of a fingertip may make me feel better
yet i'm on the computer and he's playing video games. and i don't want to force him, because i'll still feel unwanted. I hate that i feel like this. i wish things would just fall into place for me at least just once in my life. i've had a very difficult time. i've had to fight to stay sane. and moral. to not let myself become completely degraded. and i've had to build wall after wall. and then i had to tear them all down when i thought it was safe. just to build a new wall. or maybe not walls. more like ditches and i've been using trench warfare to recede from the enemy instead of advancing. i dunno. stupid metaphore from a stupid girl. i just wish i could just be happy for awhile without having to work so damn hard to get there. i dunno. i just.... i dunno.
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