[The Brit's Blog]
My autobiography ( a work in progress)Play Fighting
2007-03-22
Yesterday i talked to chris before i got out of school. i asked him if we could go to the mall just to look at prom dresses (so that this weekend i wouldn't have to spend all that time with my father looking) chris said it depended on my mood when he got home. whatever. so i went home took a shower and i was in a great mood. i met him at the door when he got home and give him bunches of kisses. and he sat down and i asked if we were gonna go to the mall. and he said no he was too tired. so i figured he was going to take a nap and maybe we could go later. he didn't. but he wanted to go out to eat. so he was too tired to go to the mall for an hour but we could go to a restaraunt for and hour and a half. w/e. we went home and watched a movie and while we were watching the movie, he started play slapping me. and i wasn't really in the mood for that. so after telling him to stop like 5 times, i grabbed his wrist and held them. so then he kicked me in the head... of course with no intent to harm. but i was really aggrevated with him and got mad. then he stopped for awhile. but then he started slapping me again. soooo aggrevation. and i started hitting back finally. and he didn't get them point when i started hitting hard. and i started punching his leg after i told him to stop again and he still continued. arg. so when i started punching him, he started punching me. not nearly as hard though. but what finally ended the whole thing, was he punched my leg hard enough to make me cry and i flipped out on him and just started hitting whatever part of him i could. but i only did that for about 20 seconds. and he felt so bad. which at first didn't bother me. but when we went to bed and he got up and went to the living room and slept on the couch, then it bothered me. and he didn't tell me goodnight or anything. and this morning i woke him up when i was about to leave for the bus stop, he just said bye. no i love you. no hug, just bye. not even i'll see you later. just bye. sometimes he makes me so incredibly angry. if i could see him right now i'd probably slap the shit out of him. he was so selfish all day yesterday. i asked what was going to have to be done for him to quit acting the way he was. he said he didn't know. whatever. i understand that he was upset that he hurt me. i know he's "punishing himself" we've been through this before. but i don't think he realizes what he's doing to me in the process. oh well. it will work itself out.
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